Prom at San Luis Obispo High School is this Saturday, and students are all wondering the same thing: “Can I bring my cousin?”
Nearly every teenager goes through a phase at some point where they look at one of their cousins and wishes that they were more than just a cousin. It’s what child psychologists usually call the “Cousin Lovin’” period of adolescence.
But can students bring this affection to the dance floor for this year’s prom night?
It turns out: yes.
“They’re just going to prom, not marrying, so there’s really nothing we can do to stop them,” said ASB director Jim Johnson, confusedly. Seems like the law can’t stop cousinly love!
Social norms are governed by more than just the law, however. For a practice to truly be “allowed” by society, it has to be accepted as a good thing by the majority of people. This is where “Cousin Lovin’” falls short–inter-cousin relations are currently seen as taboo by the general public.
So, how does the SLOHS student body feel about cousin-daters? Does all of the anti-cousin rhetoric of today’s world stem from an innate human aversion to relationships that cause a multitude of genetic diseases, or is it simply another arbitrary social rule from Boomers?
Students’opinions on if cousins should date varies wildly. “Absolutely; one hundred percent,” said senior Ian Wellman. And while it might seem that most students would agree with Wellman, there are a few who go against the cousin-grain. “That is absolutely gross. These people share the same blood,” said sophomore Lindsay Smith, being overly rude and aggressive. “I don’t want to see it, ever. Get out of my house.”
Since most scientists agree that a sample size of just two is sufficient for any experiment or survey, these opposing opinions can be used to reasonably assume that about half of SLOHS supports cousinly relationships, while about half don’t. In math, 0.5 rounds up to 1, so if 50 percent of the student body supports cousinly romance, then nearly 100 percent of students support cousinly romance. The data is sound and self-evident.
So, be on the lookout for lots of people bringing their cousins to prom this year! “A Night Under the Stars” is shaping up to be the first of many cousin-saturated public events. Anyone curious about building affection between them and their cousin can read the WikiHow article “How to Get Your Cousin to Like You” for helpful tips and tricks. God bless our cousins and God bless America!
Sources: WikiHow.com
