The Student News Site of San Luis Obispo High School




The Student News Site of San Luis Obispo High School



A and E Editor Sylas Grove attempts creative confusion


Editor note: the following is a creative attempt at being confused about confusion. Want to write for, email [email protected] and let us know.


San Luis Obispo High School Students read. A lot.

This begs the question: how often do you don’t not double check the things that you read? Probably a good majority of you didn’t. 

  “You’re gonna put that in the article?” 

  “Why of course, why would I not? They’ll get it.” 

  “But you must think of the lowest common denominator. Not many will understand what is, can’t be what you see as the way the words are strung out, like sad grapes on a rotting grapevine.” 

  The author would not, could not, stop muttering nonsensical gibberish to nobody but himself in his completely pitch black desk area. Futile attempts to explain the beautiful inconsistencies in the consistent differences between disorientation and utter confusion had rattled the sad daytime wandering author for centuries. At least, all of the centuries that the mockingbirds whispered his forbidden child’s name, but more about that later. 

 “I become disoriented at the thought of disorientation,” said senior Basil Lloyd-Moffet in response to the reading of 120 words of pure expressive, well written emotional anti-capitalistic writing (This article).

    So, you want to feel disoriented, huh? Well Basil, we here at Expressions have you covered. 

 Well, buckle up buttercub, because disorientation involves not a lot of quite a few of some of many bits of information that almost don’t quite connect with your surroundings. Think of something like this: 

  You’re standing alone in a blank room and your phone is dead. You can’t figure why, but something to do with the atoms and electrons didn’t quite add up to give it a full charge. By the time you realize that down is not up, the ceiling is practically the floor and your head is at your feet, giving you one wild, non-gravity-complicit ride.

  “What does that have to do with anything?” 

  You may ask. Simple, disorientation is when things that should be are not what they can’t be, and instead they aren’t what or where they would normally be. I’m sure you’re starting to pick up on the differences.

  “I am confused about confusion,” said Senior Basil Lloyd-Moffet in response to the reading of 400 words of pure unadulterated madness.

  Well Basil, we here at Expressions have you covered.

Confusion, is a complete lack of comprehension of any of the things that are going on. Especially when these things are what they wouldn’t be. If you haven’t read this far into this article, you’re probably not feeling confused. 

  “My confusion about confusion is no longer complete confusion, but I do have some confusion as to how the confusion article aimed at solving confusion about confusion left me still moderately confused about confusion,”  said Lloyd-Moffet after reading 500 words of pure unadulterated madness.

  Now’s probably about the time that you start to catch hummingbirds with your lackluster attention span, so I’ll get to the point. Even more pointedly is the idea of confusion.

To get an answer to a big question, the author of this article had to go to the big man himself.

SLOHS  principal Leslie O’Connor said, “I think you can be totally confused as to where you are, like when you’re driving, while simultaneously being completely disoriented of where you are in the world.”


A breathtaking response from a breathtaking disorientation and confusion expert.  The metaphorical author set his keyboard down and sighed a sigh of relief. All of life’s questions had finally been answered. The author felt a sense of fulfillment and completion, having delivered this vital information to the world, while simultaneously giving his opinion on the subject. Disorientation is better. Then the author caught his bus, and left for the mainland.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

All Expressions Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *