In the past, the trend of overspending on a product was limited and only applied to electronics, gaming consoles, and Patagonia. Today, it takes an underwhelming and surprising role in a water bottle. The Hydro Flask is the new overpriced trend, but at least it keeps its contents cold for twenty four hours and hot for six hours.
“We don’t need to have the convenience of cold water with us at all times because it inhibits our natural instincts and makes us less prepared for survival situations with dire circumstances,” said sophomore Lili McCurdy.
The Hydro Flask is just another way for corporations to push us into thinking we need something that is completely unnecessary. Someday the human race will likely resemble the humans that live on the Axiom spaceship in “WALL-E”, and the Hydro Flask only speeds up the process.
Aside from the humiliation of being turned into useless life forms, the product costs too much for some people to handle. While the renowned Camelbak water bottle will also keep water cool for an appropriate amount of time, it costs $12 less for nine more ounces of water storage when compared to its Hydro Flask 12 ounce bottle counterpart, which costs $22.
Senior Chiara Luchessi said, “People seem to be throwing out their well-functioning water bottles and spending money on the overpriced Hydro Flasks just to hop on the bandwagon.”
Somehow, the steep prices and bland appearance of these water bottles have led to a local revolution. Everywhere you go – whether it be school, Downtown San Luis Obispo, or even social media, the entitled, smug, privileged, and narcissistic smile on the water bottle will taunt you with the knowledge that it has conquered the minds of many.
Want to see these bottles in action? Check out the local Hydro Flask Instagram page, @805top_hydros.
Are we kidding? No.