You unsent a message. Photo Courtesy of senior Lauren Weyel.

 It’s late on a Thursday night. I, like most San Luis Obispo High School students, click through Instagram stories before going to bed. An acquaintance posted about Samia’s new album. Without thinking, I reply to the story “I love Samia so much, the new album is lovely!”, and keep clicking. After about two minutes, I start to overthink my message. I don’t know that person very well, is it weird that I replied to their story? What if they just see the message and don’t reply? That would be embarrassing. Three minutes of overthinking later, I just unsend the message and hope my acquaintance did not see it.

  Instagram’s unsend message feature has been around for a while, and in September 2022 iMessage rolled out an unsend message feature as well. While the fifteen-minute time constraint keeps users from deleting weeks worth of messages and both parties can see when a message has been unsent, it is still a rather unnecessary feature that can impede true connection. When people are constantly able to take back messages, it creates a strange, tense conversation, full of unanswered questions and apprehension.

  “When I unsend a message, it’s either because I regretted what I said or they left me on seen so I just unsent it and pretend like it didn’t happen,” said freshman Amelia Wood. “Sometimes I unsend a message and then they respond to it anyway, and it’s just awkward, I just act like I didn’t unsend it.”

  The old saying goes “You can’t take back what you said”, and while this may be physically untrue now thanks to the unsend button, the sentiment behind it still stands. While you can make your words disappear, you can’t undo the thought process that led you to say those words. If that message was so important that you sent it once, perhaps it is best to be brave and let the other person see what you have to say. If you were bold enough to ask a question once, then it is clearly a question you want an answer to, so don’t back out of conversational bravery.

  If I had let the message about Samia sit in my acquaintance’s DMs for longer, it is true that I could have been left on seen or received an awkward reply. But I also could have had an interesting conversation with someone I don’t know about something we both like, paving the way from acquaintances to friends. When students unsend difficult questions or bold messages, they stop themselves from having a real conversation with deeper communication, sabotaging their own relationships. 

  Wait a bit before you unsend a message, Tigers. The conversation that follows could pleasantly surprise you.